Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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