do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
