Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
