Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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