I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
