I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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