so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
