I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
