Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Randomize
