I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
