Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
