don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
