Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
