My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
