Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
