I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
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We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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