so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
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Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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