I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
