C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
