oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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