if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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