You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
