if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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