When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize