he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.