How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
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Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.