My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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