thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
