I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize