I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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