i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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