so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize