i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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