I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
