Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
