I want to make a zoo with you.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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