Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
