just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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