I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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