Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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