Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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