I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
