i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
