I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.