i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.