Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.