He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
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he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
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We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back