i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
