Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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