when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
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What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
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I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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