you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
