problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize