Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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