Me too!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
