This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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