I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
