i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
