Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
