another moral hangover. fuck.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
