Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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