Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i was born a porn star she said
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
