I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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