I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
