Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
