Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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