it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
