The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
