Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
