I heard we made out
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
