Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Congratulations! We have a period
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