It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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