good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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