why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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