margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
